In IFS therapy, the Self is the part of us that heals us. It is the part of us that is whole, and can bring the healing powers of compassion, curiosity, understanding and objectivity to the emotion-driven parts of us that are wounded, reactive and troublesome.

It’s amazing that everyone, without exception, has a healing Self, but what is even more amazing is that this part of us is also a doorway to Spirit.

I’ve noticed there are three basic steps in the journey from Self to Spirit.

The first step is simply the ability to access Self, to find within us the calm place that is interested in our parts, does not reject them or react to them, is kind and compassionate towards them, and is able to accept, understand and appreciate them. Almost everyone can access Self pretty quickly and easily, but often we don’t realise that these qualities of Self we find within us are also qualities of Spirit. It really shows just how close we live to Her without even knowing it.

The second step is ‘growing’ our Self. The more we access it, the closer it gets to the surface, and the more quickly and easily it arises. We find that it develops more and more capacity to hold the deeply wounded parts of us. It becomes stronger, more compassionate, more accepting, more able to see what is really going on, and can heal us more rapidly. It comes to easily embody and express all of the eight “c’s” of Self – calmness, compassion, curiosity, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity and connectedness.

As our Self embodies all those qualities, which by the way are also qualities of Spirit, it creates the ground for the third step. Instead of having a Self, we become Self, and in doing so we also become our Spiritual selves.

As we embody these qualities of Spirit, they become a launching pad into many other spiritual dimensions. We find that at various times we experience ourselves immersed in states such as joy, strength, true power, gratitude, perfection, lightness, oneness, peace, trust, surrender, spaciousness, the depth, and many other qualities. We find that in that moment that we are Spirit, and that She is who we truly are.

We discover that embodying Spirit is actually the ultimate cure for all our emotional difficulties. Our parts simply fall away, and are no longer the focus of our attention. Instead, we feel completely held in a field of loving kindness, and we know deep in our soul that everything is OK, and that we will always be OK, no matter what happens.

We find that we make this journey, from parts to Self to Spirit, over and over again, but that slowly She becomes stronger in our lives. More and more, She is available to support Self, the healing that Self offers, and the ultimate healing of Spirit.

As we do IFS therapy, we find that our Self slowly expands. We find that more and more we can hold even very distressed parts of ourselves, and give them exactly the kind of healing that they need. And as Self expands, it doesn’t just expand in any old direction, but moves closer and closer to Spirit, allowing us to live more and more as what we truly are.